The Writer, Wolves and the Woodsman

Let's Get to The Point Written by: Woodsman I’m laughing in my head at the title. Most of us would take that line in a literal way and this time I actually mean it in a physical way.  The Writer was gracious enough to take me to her family's hidden away cabin on a lake in northern Minnesota.  You have to drive down a goat path just to get into it.  If you are a wise person after you have traveled this trail once you will back down the last part of the driveway — if you're driving a pickup truck anyway.  So let's talk about the point from an outsider's perspective. It is a wonderful piece of land that her family has owned for some time and has also documented the history of while they have been the stewards of it.   They’ve also kept it from eroding away due to gnarly waves when the wind picks up. If you haven’t caught on by now, then it is a literal point — a peninsula — that goes out into the lake. They have docks on both sides of it, so if it’s too windy on one si

 Dog Non-chewable Items are Like Cheetos for Humans If you need an amateur (apprentice?) wire stripper, then you can rent the Doberman. Fees include: everything. Sigh. General observations here.  Humans shouldn't eat Cheetos or Old Dutch Ruffle Chips with Top The Tater Dip  (ahem Woodsman). In the same vein, dogs shouldn't strip wiring, eat underwear, bedding or shoes. When they have access to ample toys and the occasional Warlord Squirrel you know something's up. I've come to the conjecture* that chewing "wrong" things isn't necessarily about attention. Nay, I think that bedding, shoes and table legs have a distinct — and nuanced — flavor. Think about it.  Hoo-mans love our delicious snacky foods as opposed to chicken and salads. So how are canines any different? Cats and boxes have a similar theme (rolly-dingy-ball-thingy). If you've ever had a feline, then you know what I'm sayin'.

 A.I. Is Darwin Incarnate Be it so known!  I, the Writer, went there . I work in SEO / E-commerce Marketing, so I am far too familiar with AI. I know how it is used, should be used and how it is misused. But overall, it is like an F4 twister sucking the creative right out of you. Once upon a time I was a copywriter. Now I edit bot driven dribble for a living instead of creating organic content. I freaking hate AI.   The only good news is that whatever Darwinian version of "Evolution" you subscribe to will likely take its course.  Some recent examples? Google AI gave some dangerous and wrong answers  along the lines of "eat rocks, run with scissors and then get in the unmarked white van with a stranger's offering of sweet candy". Okay, the last part was mine, but you get the pointy part — of the scissors. Be that as it may, that kind of "advice" should weed out more than a few... persons.  Morbid? Sure.  Reality, definitely . AI is trying to kill some

  Have you ever made your own wine? It's actually not that complicated. It is three things: alchemy, math and patience.  I'm not about to give away any formulas, but I'll just say that you need not stomp grapes yourself.  - Writer

Well, if you ever had a three headed doberman (Go Cerberus), then you know having your hands attached after it's done with the teething / chewing stage would be a feat of the gods. The Chew Monster is also known as the Poop Machine, the Bottomless Pit of Food Consumption, Needle Teeth and a few others. She’s doing really well. I have to admit that I have been around some really not so smart puppies, but she is pretty amazing so far. She knows how to sit and hold. She comes when you call her name, and also most of the time gets out of the garden when you tell her to. She’s developed a shrill bark that beckons her big bro to come play zoomies, and get anyone's attention at anything  about to be shred to pieces. The German Shepherd is not so impressed. Arna prefers to hide in her closet cave (yes) to stay clear of Needle Teeth. During the day, she’ll sleep with the other two.  We discovered that buying smaller raw hides Cowdog Chews (dubbed chewy’s) is the way to go. The little o

  When the Doberman breeder reached out to me about a red and rust female, I couldn't resist. Meet Ruby. So, after a horrendous "marriage" and equally as troubling divorce, I had to leave a lot of things behind. This included two dogs. I didn't even get what I legally asked for (and it wasn't much). Try going halfsies with a narcissist. It won't work.  I fled with the Belgian Malinois, aka Sabot (pronounced Say- Bow), but left my precious Doberman puppy, Raguel and the aging German Shepherd.  It cracked my heart. The last night I spent in my "cage" I slept on the floor of my office with Sabot and Raguel. The next day, while Giant Violent Toddler was on yet another one of those "hikes" all three dogs were with me. I packed. I think they all knew something was about to go down... but instinct told me to take Sabot. He was the dog being abused most, after all. I calculated, and figured that the other two were big enough to protect themselves.

"Hey, look at the geese gathered on the island in the pond.  What are they doing?" Woodsman uttered as he peered out of the window. "It's a Quackternity meeting. haha."  Replied Writer, tired and bored with day four of product and schema pricing updates at her remote job. Woodsman looked at her, then back out the window, facepalmed and shook his head.  A little while later he said, "Wow, now there are ducks sitting there with the geese: four drake mallards and two wood ducks."  "See, it's a Freatheren. Like brethren... because frats are, you know..." Writer chuckled anticipating another facepalm from the Woodsman.  Instead he kissed her on the forehead and said, "I love you. Did the waterfowl just foul?" "Now there are four geese. They're multiplying and not even by making goslings." Said Woodsman. "That does it. I'm not going outside without a golf club — or murder puppy." Replied Writer. The joke: S

We got new hats! Items not (necessarily) meant for shotgun shells “I’d be a bread ball in a shotgun shell with you.” - Writer “Wouldn’t that be bread shot?” - Woodsman “Depending on the grain... haha.” - Writer Facepalms abounded. The things Woodsman has allegedly* put in a shot-shell would amaze you. Bread balls were the yeast of it. ;) It’s getting sprouty... “Your farts are peppery, too? Did you, umm, eat the sprouts?” - Writer “You ate the sprouts?” - Woodsman “The ones in the fridge were still good. But they likely won’t be good after today.” - Writer said quickly. “Well, then feed them to the Sarlacc Pit.” - Woodsman said gesturing to the garbage disposal. And she did. And then they canoodled — all night. 

  So it got a little dark on an already overcast and rainy day — at least here. Boo-hoo. My Door-dash order still arrived, and the Wolves didn't go full Cujo .  We're likely not going to die in an 1812 style earthquake.  Or flat, immovable plane-shake. I digress. Take care. Writer

Yes, he shot many arrows into the pond.  “We need some targets.” He said. Arrows on a log. Like Ants on a Log, but better. “You mean other than the waterfowl, turtles and random neighborhood cats on logs?” I replied.  “Yeah, like actual archery targets from a store or something.” “Wouldn’t it just be cheaper to shoot at the red squirrels ? I mean, they’re plush, and easy to see.” I said. “They’re not stationary.” He replied. “True… true-ish?” I agreed. “And I can’t kill your Yard Dogs so to speak, (deer) because they’re out of season.” He interjected.  “I’m aware. So, we’re relegated to buying sunfish filets and scrumptious lamb legs from the local guys?” Said my pragmatic mind. “And archery practice at dusk…” He said. “Okay. I love you.” And we embraced.

It’s Official folks Chat GPT won the election since all that you needed was a gmail account to vote this season. Let’s ask the new President what it thinks of this year's election. Chat GPT you just won the election for President of the United States over Joe Biden and Donald Trump. What do you think of that? ChatGPT “As an AI language model, I don't have personal feelings or experiences, so I don't experience emotions like pride or excitement. However, hypothetically speaking, winning an election for President of the United States would be a significant event, carrying immense responsibility and requiring careful consideration of the needs and aspirations of the American people. It would be an honor to serve the country and work towards its betterment, addressing various challenges and striving for progress and unity.” Who did you pick for vice president? ChatGPT As an AI language model, I don't have personal preferences or the ability to make decisions. However, if hy

Happy Rabbit of Caerbannog Day! Wait, did I start that off correctly? Would you prefer happy Cadbury Egg Day? The lion is still the best bunny I believe. I mean if this was either The Ghost and The Darkness he could give the murder rabbit a run for his money. Anyhow, I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter day celebrating it however you choose to do so. I know the Writer and I will be sitting here mourning the loss the Minnesota Wild just had on Saturday…Stop pulling the goalie in overtime coach! (Hockey, Minnesotans etc.) May your easter eggs be filled with yummy treats or maybe a helpful egg shaped holy hand grenade whichever you want or need at the time.

Thanks Andrew Zimmern for the recipe! The Roast Leg of Lamb with Lemony Dill Sauce was amazing — even if making the dish was a bit out of my wheelhouse. Writer really enjoyed it. We had a great evening with good food, good wine, and great conversation.  Lamb enthusiasts must try this dish.  The Wolves also enjoyed the leg of lamb bone. I cut it in half so they could each have some. The pieces had some meat and fat on them that got cooked with the bone. They thoroughly cherished their dinner treat. It’s always nice to dig out the fine china, make up the table and just relax and enjoy a good meal. I think the only thing we were missing was candles. Ah, well perhaps next time. I think for the next fun dish to make I am going to have to try my hand at another Chicago style pizza in the cast iron pan and send pics to my friend from Chicago to see what he thinks.  Have a great Easter weekend everybody stay safe and be prepared if needed. (Woodsman)

(Woodsman typing) Ahh, it's that time of year again. Cadbury eggs are bountiful, and the furry bunny should be made into a wonderful German dish. Well, my wonderful partner told me that she is not a fan of celebrating Easter as a holiday. We are going to have a delicious Passover meal on Thursday instead. Serendipitously, someone at the local butcher’s canceled their lamb order. So, yes, this evening I butchered a wonderful hind leg of lamb. Then I cooked up the bone and scraps as a tasty special treat for the Wolves.  Some may ask; no family get togethers? Nope We’ll likely sip wine, snack on lamb with the wonderful Wolves, and enjoy Monty Python and the Holy Grail and The Princess Bride . Fire swamps, ROUSs and a murder bunny? Who has The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?!?  Sometimes, we need to have our personal time with our partner; it's relationship building and we enjoy finding new and fun things to do together.  Mother Nature decided to take a good solid hit on her crack